Kathy and Jim live in the basement of Jim’s parents’ house. Jim works a low-paying job and Kathy is home with three kids under the age of 5. Money is very tight. Kathy’s mother-in-law is very critical; she comments on how she is raising the kids and her appearance. Kathy is miserable and angry that she is in this situation and feels trapped.
“What are you grateful for?” I asked.
“Nothing” was her quick and angry reply, and she listed all the struggles she was facing.
“You have a place to live that is warm, dry, and safe,” I countered.
“Yeah, she grudgingly agreed, “but ……She rattled off more things she hated.
“Do you and your children have food?”
“Yes,” she was quiet now I explained how just shifting our perspective to what is positive around us changes how we feel about ourselves, others, and our situation.
“Do your In-laws spend time with the kids?”
“Yes, my mother-in-law invites the kids up for lunch pretty often, and her husband loves to play with the kids.”
“That is awesome and great for the kids to have grandparents involved!” Opportunities that were invisible become available. We are more available for meaningful relationships.
Gratitude and appreciation are powerful spiritual gifts that change our lives for the better with a consistent refocusing on the positive. It opens up possibilities previously invisible. When we are angry, depressed or unhappy, it is likely that gratitude is not practiced daily. Initially is it hard to cultivate gratitude.
Try this:
- Say or write 3 new things you are grateful for each day. You may be too angry to appreciate those around you, so begin with yourself. Examples: I am grateful I can……I’m grateful I see… I’m grateful I have… This begins to rewire your brain to scan the world around you for the positive. This changes us over time so we can be grateful for housing, food, people who care for us.
- Call out and appreciate what you love about your family members.
- Point out positive actions and words in family members and others
- Enlist family members to appreciate each other.
Making this a new habit will change how you see the world and how the world sees you. There is nothing like a small child saying, “Thank you for taking care of me, I love you!”
Start now to cultivate gratitude; it will come back to you in wonderful, amazing ways!
Be bold, aim high, work hard and have fun!
